Panic at the First Blast.

I had the first blast
of not knowing what to say
to You

I enjoyed
that You
are no better than
Me

There's nothing much to say
really
but this Me
keeps jumping up and down
having a blast
of looking into you.

Panic
is staring at Me.
Hello.

The New Job.

The New Job.


A lot of you, my friends, have been asking me - hows the new job like? At this point of time, this marvellous oil drawing of mine explains it best..

In the new job, there're a lot of excitement, hope, interest, challenges, perhaps a serene ending, but not without a confusing and overwhelming start, ghost stories, new faces, new friends, and shadows of imbalanced expectations.

Haha - Tu la sapa suruh sms berkilo2... heheh.
Whatever it is, as Sarimah cutely puts it (everytime), chai-freaking-yok!

First Day at School: I've got bangs, bebeh!

First Day at School: I've got bangs, bebeh!

The thing I remember most about my first day at school, darjah 1 at SRK Guru Nanak, was a picture that my father took of me in front of our ghost-laden house on Jalan Abdul Manaf, Ipoh. I was in a dark blue pinnafore, pony-tailed, and worked some serious bangs with even a seriouser look. It was an annoyed look, but cant remember lah what I was annoyed about. Everything was perfect, new.

See what I mean? This wasnt the pinafore picture but the look is the same :)

We berjiran with an old couple, which I called Opah and Atok London. They’re known as the London couple because Atok speaks English like a Londoner. Opah, not so much. She wore a true Perak accent that I found amusing, cos Mak & Abah dont speak like that at all. On that day, Atok came out by the side of our shared pagar and commented (something like this la), ” Wah professor hari ni segak la nak pegi sekolah. You must study well okay! Ha ha ha!” (Well, he laughs a lot, this deep, sonorous laugh that’s contagious to his cucu, Abang Manap, and to my Abah too). He made it a habit calling me professor, my adik-adik - Wan:"doctor", Eli: "engineer", and the youngest, A'e : I cant remember, maybe he was too young to be assigned a career, hehe. But as magical as his laugh was, his words are even more. I think I am on my way to become a PhD doctor, Wan just passed his medic exam and is now Dr. Syafwan, Eli works with machines, though not really an engineer, and A'e, currently undecided (baru lepas matrix ni).

Abah must have sent me to school on my first day, but after that, I followed Mak to school on foot. It was a 15 minutes walk (one way) and Mak tried to hold my hand when she can cos the roads, though we used jalan taman perumahan a lot, were still visited by speedy cars. My first day to school was also my Mak’s first day to school. She transferred from her school in Tapah to the same school as I was enrolled in. She’s a teacher, you see.

I recalled that scene from Harry Potter the first movie, when all new students was selected into the “Houses”. “Griffindor!” the hat shouted. During my time, it was “Yellow!” or “Red!”. I was assigned the yellow house but later cried to my class teacher wanting it to be changed to blue. My friend from kindergarten (perhaps the only one whom continued her journey with me at SRK Guru Nanak) named Syarifah Nurul Akmam was in either yellow or green. But I know there was somebody in the class that got into blue, and I wanted to be with her so bad. This migration from yellow to blue proved to be a disappointing move 6 years down the road, where at the peak of my fame and glory as the senior in Standard 6, Blue House was sucking ass big time. And most obviously yellow won, with all my other cliques members championing it!

His Story: I

Once I have murmured
history along his
jaw

He's bearing
a heavy
burden
Oblivion and Denial
befriended him

And I
I am unable to be
a Satan
nor an Angel
for him
Unable to give birth to
Warnings
For my deaf and blind
lover

When foes come
from every directions
I am already dying
murdered
by his unfulfilled
Responsibility

The history continues
Him carrying
a heavy burden
only to fail
by beautiful deceptions

Post-election Kota Bharu, Evergreen Kota Bharu

Post-election Kota Bharu, Evergreen Kota Bharu

My bapak calls this place, "tempat Qur'an"

What can I say - despite the controversial arguments of my roommate Sarimah against everything Kelantese (except nasi kerabu), I just have to say the state has captured my heart, totally. I have not been in Kelantan for 14 years, and going back to it last week was enough to make me want to live there and blend in the melange of its rich culture.

I mentioned to Tanjung about the breathtaking route from Grik to KB, crossing Titiwangsa. Even at the sight of endless pokok kekabu by the roadside made my heart jumped out of excitement. (Some say I'm easily amused too - so, hehe)

This was Lenggong, I believe

We stopped at R&R Puncak Titiwangsa to enjoy this fantastic view.. and sejukkk la!

People say, "Di mana bumi dipijak, di situ langit dijunjung"

The timing can never be any better, I'd say. Post-election in the Bulan state is really an exciting time to be there. People talk about politics all the time, and I hear lengthy stories about the Bulan Party, much about the discontentment of the people too. Some of the arguments why one should vote for Bulan distracted my neurons' activities - like, " You should vote for Bulan because its the easiest way to get your ass into heaven".. Like, what?? Can I kill 100 people now and then vote for Bulan for salvation? Yeah, right.

Political wau motive. Must have gotten subsidy from the party for this effort.

Endless, I'm telling you..

My mother and I paid a visit to a very interesting family in KB. The father is a PKR dude. The mother, a fierce Dacing supporter, and the sons are all for Bulan. These people are all extremist in their own way, and together, make an amusing, contrasting bind of opinion about Malaysia's politics.

If I were a hungry bird, I'd totally hangout here

I was having breakfast with Tanjung at the White House (Bush couldnt make it this time to the coffee session, and we decided to kick Rice out just because) when we came across a Chinese pakcik, who invited us to sit with him. Like any Kelantanese Chinese, this pakcik speaks perfect Kelantanese, with perhaps an unnoticeable chinese accent. We had our arguments on why BN lost and rationalized the gap of expectations of the people against the ruling government.

He said, he believed that the more BN controls the media, it is even worse for them because they can't contest the allegations of the opposition parties against them. Yes, I agree totally with this observation. The Opposition sent SMSes containing allegations against the ruling government to millions of Malaysians, and the BN party took it lightly and never replied to those allegations. The best, is to hold open debates on TV so the people will be able to weigh the truth and the reality. Set rules on the debates. No one wants to be seen as a fool on TV, lambasting on senseless matters. So, rather than having one-sided allegations from other contesting parties, answer them intelligently, unless you really have something to hide.


I remember reading from Jeff Ooi's blog on matters upon matters against Koh Tsu Koon, even giving him an opportunity, a deadline, for Koh to defend himself if indeed the accusations are wrong. Not a word from Koh. As a result, increased vote for Jeff.

In campaigning for elections, as my old man said, a party must know the people they're addressing. Never make verbal mistake because, thanks to the digital world and YouTube, these kind of mistakes will be haunting you forever. Like in Kelantan for example, everyone knows majority of the Kelantanese-Malay value Islam more than anything else. Having this knowledge, why cant one be careful in sculpting the right way of messaging to appeal to these people? Dont ask, "Who can bring development to this state?" and answer "Us, the BN party!".. but rather, it should be " It is God who permits development in this state, but please allow us to offer our service to execute His plans". This is mere example of messaging that I think BN lacked in the last election.

Also when I was in Kelantan, I noticed that the boards that displayed the faces of candidates also featured the Tok Guru Nik Aziz's face next to them. Coupling the two (candidate and main leader) images in my opinion, simplify the choice for the people. If the people dont know the candidate, they will be reminded of the leader, automatically locking in votes. In addition to that, the names of the candidates were displayed as " Kak Ani" and "Cikgu Rahim", suggesting familiarity of the candidate with their people. The idea is to put familiar face to contest in specific counties.

These are small matters, I agree. There are a lot more bigger things that you might consider to explain the current loss of BN. However, when it comes down to reaching out to the people, only these small matters matter. If we're talking about getting every single vote for us, then every single detail must be reckoned with.

Serving us twice for breakfast

Biasalah, sesi jual minyak magic

All in all, I left Kota Bharu in contentment. I shall remember my little dates with Tanjung around the town, Nasi Ulam Cikgu, all the beautiful places I have seen, the polite and nice Kelantanese, the crazy driving style of the people too -"Tubik ikuk suka!", and this little fella I found in Machang:

Felt like I was in biblical times

Featuring: Accidental picture of pakcik beca

I have no idea what the name of this thing is.. but it's actually super overcooked corn with coconut & sugar. Awesome blossom ni!

The revered kuih akok. Not impressive to me personally.

Next, I will try to write on the aftermath of the election. The winners move on. The kerajaan campuran seems to fail to work together, the Sultans are using their power, and of the Malays Penangites, who are poorly managed by the DAP govt in Penang.

I Voted.

I Voted.

My first experience voting is something that I will remember my whole life. I walked to the polling station, holding a really big umbrella that invoked giggles and tease of the pakcik-pakcik, who were holding kopi session by the roadside. The sky was rather dark, and I kept feeling the rectangular shape of my identity card in the back pocket, fearing I might have forgotten it.

As I stepped out of my gate, this is what I see. The polling station was located at the end of this road, on the left.

I accidently took this picture. See the sky? It was pregnant with water. Just about to rain.

I love voting. I will vote as long as there's breath in me, and as long as the country is not yet drowned à cause de global warming. The fact that my vote counts and does make a difference is empowering. If you're the kind of person who couldn't care less about the "politics" of this country, I implore you to just try it once. It's nice to be an adult and vote.

This is our Dewan Orang Ramai, comfortably taken by the BN as a strategic venue to place Puteri-Puteri UMNO, may I add, very cute ones, at the table. See that pink shirt? What you can't see is the PAS booth right across the road, modelling their best breed of young men, also, able to melt those Puteris' hearts. These two, according to my Abah, were bickering dengan manja sekali at each other that morning, when all the elderlies were not there (all went to vote first thing in the morning). Comel nye rasa nak picit-picit pipi tu! Pinang karang! Aww!

My father was joking about how he is a Saluran 2 man, not yet Saluran 1. Konon muda lagi la .. You know these polling booths are divided into saluran-saluran, which corresponds to age. 5 is for new/young voters ( that's me, heh), 2 and 1 are for the "pencen dudes", and the sages of the country, and everyone else is somewhere in the middle.

Yes, this is the tempat keramat, completely ready with the yellow SPR/CSI tape around. I voted in one of those rooms behind the blue sign.

Iklan jap, Oi Carimah, nasib la u vote untuk Pelangai ni, kalo tak buang karen I je register untuk u.. bagus! Hot girls who vote are even TSSSSSS!

Also a shout out to Sangeetha, whose patriotism rooted from my registering her to be a voter this year, and she fulfilled that duty! You so good la Geetha! I'm proud of you!

The result.

This is the most interesting part, of course. For the first time in the country's history, the ever ruling party is suffering from considerable loss of seats all across the country. Both DUN and parliament seats were heavily contested and won over by the opposition parties. Although, the majority still sided with Barisan Nasional, winning them yet another term to hold the Federal Govt.

Though the technicalities of the result is not my expertise, as a citizen, I am relieved to know that democracy in this country is still capable of bringing about change, and that my right is not rigged by a corrupted system, as experienced in some countries in Africa, and Latin America. Even America's voting system is unbelievably fishy to me.

The result is surprising - 5 states go to the opposition, and the rest remains under Barisan Nasional. I for one, never thought this wave would materialized this soon. Perhaps I haven't been watching YouTube as much as I should have, eh?

So Amy asked me, what does this mean for our day-to-day life? Will anything change? I said, perhaps we will not personally experience this change anytime soon. But slowly, the changes will reveal themselves. Those lucky/deserving winners will work hard, if they understand their role well enough, and if they can foresee their fate if they fcuk up things in their kawasan.

This is the end of "taking things for granted" era. Many have learned their lesson, and gained more reasons to be true to the meaning of "service for the people". And this kind of change, is absolutely most welcome.

War.

I am embarrased
at the thought of war
the intention of war
let alone
battling you

It came down
to you and
me
to rumble
in that dirt

brandishing our swords
killing light in our eyes
only to find
we replace each other

I am embarassed
at your nerve
to pull me into this
end

We're in too deep
what are we
waiting for?